Passengers evacuated from Northwest Airlines jet.
Yesterday following a flight from Minneapolis, 40 passengers were evacuated from Northwest Airlines' flight 428 when a landing tower employee spotted smoke near the wheels. The cause of the smoke is unknown, however all passengers made it off safely.
Missing Boy Found
On Monday night a missing seven year old boy was found in Brick Township, New Jersey. The Boy had been missing for three years and was recognized by a neighbor. The neighbor was able to identify the child after his picture was shown after the movie Adam: The Song Continues. The neighbor than called the police.
The boy's mother, 27 year old, Ellen Lynn Conner was arrested by police. She faces charges of kidnapping and interference with a custody warrant.
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1 comment:
1) Don't give me a headline. I think it's getting in the way of you writing the lead.
Don't start with your lead with the "when" or "where" of a story. Start with the most important and/or interesting info, generally the "who" and/or "what" of the story. In this case, that's the 40 people being evacuated. (Same problem in your other lead.)
2) Your lead includes four sentences and 56 words. That's twice as long as a lead should be. Try to focus on the most important info and tighten it up. For example, once you've told me the boy was missing, you don't need to repeat that information. Once is enough.
7/10
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