Yesterday, a US Airplane coming from Chicago, crashed directly into the ground, taking 131 passengers' lives. This was the worst air disater in the United States in three years, plummeted outside Pittsburgh.
Don't start with your lead with the "when" or "where" of a story. Start with the most important/interesting info -- that's generally the "who" and/or "what" of the story.
Your second sentence doesn't make sense -- the last clause doesn't belong there.
So, I want your lead to tell me that a U.S. Air jet crashed outside Pittsburgh yesterday, killing all 131 people on board, making this the worst U.S. air disaster in three years. You can tell me where the plane was coming from later.
Other problems: a U.S. Air jet (U.S. Air is the name of the company) disaster is misspelled
This assignment was posted a day late. That lowers your grade. C
1 comment:
Don't start with your lead with the "when" or "where" of a story. Start with the most important/interesting info -- that's generally the "who" and/or "what" of the story.
Your second sentence doesn't make sense -- the last clause doesn't belong there.
So, I want your lead to tell me that a U.S. Air jet crashed outside Pittsburgh yesterday, killing all 131 people on board, making this the worst U.S. air disaster in three years. You can tell me where the plane was coming from later.
Other problems:
a U.S. Air jet (U.S. Air is the name of the company)
disaster is misspelled
This assignment was posted a day late. That lowers your grade.
C
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